David R. Ellis

Stunt man turned director.

Snakes on a Plane (2006) -- A waste of the best title for a movie in a while. If this had been called Pacific Air Flight 121 (as it was going to be called), no one -- including me -- would have watched it, and we'd have all been better off. Some good movies get shitty titles, but here's a shitty movie with a good title. I'm talking about the title so much because it's the best part of the movie. Thirty minutes is spent setting up the premise, when we could have just as easily began on the plane, stuck in some exposition, and been on our way, cutting down on the overlong one hour forty-five minute running time. Then we get stupid character after stupid character (a Paris Hilton type, a Jamie Foxx type, some stupid kids, a baby) loading up the plane. Then we get horror convention of male writers who judge characters while wishing they could do the things the characters are being judged for. A couple has sex in the bathroom, so a snake bites the woman on her naked boob. A man says hello to his penis while peeing, so a snake bites him on the dick. Etc. This kind of thing sounds kinda funny on paper, but it sadly isn't--just offensive. Once the movie really gets going, it's just chaos (snakes go nuts, repeat), and not in an interesting way. This movie could have been a fun, over-the-top, silly in good ways snakesploitation, but instead it's just another cock-fest that feels like it was written by some guy who dribbled his own snake venom over a sheet of notebook paper.